It’s funny how quick people just stop caring about you after you stop putting an effort into a friendship. You realize that without your participation, there is absolutely nothing left. That the friendship was only alive because of your constant interest. Therefore, they obviously were neutral about the whole thing. You never mattered to them. You were just another person to have around.
It just hurts because, unlike them, they actually meant something to you. And when you realize this, and start losing everyone one by one, you are completely alone. And that is hard, to go from ignorance and company to knowledge and solitude.
You don’t want to be friends with me. You have no interest in who I am, what I do, what I can bring to your life.
That’s fine, really! It’s not like I’ve been trying for a while to get through to you.
I’ll just stop, though. Like, what’s the point in continuously hurting myself if it’s not bringing you any benefit either?
There just isn’t any. So don’t worry, I won’t try texting or talking to you any more :)
If you’re suddenly interested in trying just as much as I have been, let me know. I’ll see how I feel.
Watch your words and never ignore someone who cares for you. Don’t make someone who loves you feel inferior. Love those around you who support you. Even if you are hurting, don’t hurt those around you. Smile, laugh, share. That little effort can sometimes give back so much. You are not the only one with feelings, acknowledge those of your peers and act in consequence.
I’m done. I’m done with people who don’t try to keep me in their lives. There’s way too many of them, and I’m tired of being the one who always tries to make the effort. To speak first, initiate conversation. I reach out to help and console and distract, but little return it.
I guess I’ll just let people speak first, for once. The people who actually do that already are so rare. I don’t get it, I don’t get what’s wrong with me.