i get so damn depressed when i lack sleep.
university, please don’t be the death of me. 

I don’t know how much more I can take I was happy I was actually happy for a few days and then you knock me down again and what’s the point of fixing myself again if this keeps happening?

All I can say is I hope they’re right when they say that it will get better.

Through life I hold my head high but I don’t smile because it’s a constant battle for happiness that I keep losing.

This morning, I felt happy so I drew a smiley face on my hand.

By the end of the day, I had to draw a giant X on top of it because it wasn’t true any more.

It’s funny because you probably don’t even know that you’re the one who’s hurting me so much right now.

And that it’s too late to fix it.

My life feels like it’s not real. Like everything is an illusion. Like nothing matters. Like I don’t matter. Like no one thinks I matter. Like time is passing by so slowly yet quickly, like time doesn’t exist. I don’t know what’s real or not any more except for pain. Pain is real. Pain is much too real.

I don’t think you understand, but when I’m like this, it’s when I need you to be the strongest you can be and pull me up. I’m sorry if that’s a lot to ask from you.